interview continued....

Here's the interview that will be available on my site as well.


Rose sits down for a one-on-one interview with the Daily Independent.


interviewer: So what first lead you to the realization that you belonged with Kurt in the early '90s, that time period, and not present in your current life and this period of time?
Rose: I had closed my feelings off for so many years because I knew it was pointless that I barely had a life with others and could barely function or concentrate on anything. I was writing scripts like crazy. Movie scripts, ironically, that took place about long lost soulmates. I began to do some research on a really gifted guitarist for one of my scripts and went to a book store for a particular book on him and I was just gazing through the music titles and my eyes landed on a book about Kurt. I can't even remember the title but I know I just pulled it slowly from the shelf and looked Kurt's photo straight in the eye and I knew there was something there. Something distinct.

interviewer: You were aware that you knew each other?
Rose: Not exactly. I knew that there were hidden feelings there that teetered on the line of love and hate. I always viewed him as the ultimate hypocrite. I always felt like I was in competition with him and that I was closer to being who Kurt Cobain stood for and was suppose to stand for that I despised him. I called it an 'invisible rivalry'. Four years down the road after writing my first beautiful apology letter to him on my blog I realized he wrote me a ton of lyrics twenty years prior, one line in particular that had me realize the rivalry wasn't so invisible. He writes: "I love you for what I'm not, I do not want what I've got." The whole thing is "Butterfly Effecty", everything happening in reverse. It's almost like he read my heartfelt letter first, and then went back and wrote the lyrics.
The book I was reading on him at the bookstore didn't really seem like there was much truth to it so I laid it back on the shelf and went about my business. But I started thinking about him again because of the book, he stuck in my mind. So I got drunk one night and went on a mad internet frenzy to find out all that I could find out about his death because I couldn't get it off of my mind. I stumbled on this website called "Justice For Kurt" and finally I was riveted. I was like oh my god. All these years of rolling my eyes at the sound of his name because of the suicide verdict... could he have really been murdered?? Him? I always knew suicide was his destiny... he suggested it to me through another one of his songs as the alternative to a life lived apart and I'm sure that will be my ultimate destiny too eventually because of this. I can barely function as it is without him. I smoke a lot of meth to keep my emotions up.

interviewer: So what happened after you discovered it could be murder?
Rose: I wrote the most emotional, beautiful apology letter to him on my blog where I spoke to him about all the years I spent hating him for killing himself, then I cried my eyes out, and instantly began my own little murder campaign. First I began writing dozens of letters to the mayor of Seattle regarding the reopening of the case, which you can all find on my blog as well. Then I took a much wanted trip up to Seattle, where I by-passed through Aberdeen to spend time at the place of his birth, before heading into the city to hang dozens of flyers for the police department to read regarding reopening the case. I knew the situation was more personal than just a random person posting flyers. I was very sensitive and protective over anyone reading them. I traveled there with a friend and he took a photograph of me standing in front of the old house holding up one of the flyers, me with a frown... and I realize now that that picture felt more like a photograph of one of those people who takes photos for events like September 11 when a loved one from their family has gone missing. Ironically, that's the closeness I held onto while I was hanging those flyers.

interviewer: What happened then?
Rose: I began hearing voices shortly after, one of them identifying themselves as Kurt in a different dimension still living his life while conversing with me and he told me a long story about how I was his wife trapped in a different time period and called me his time traveler's wife. He did mention his affair with Courtney as something casual. I believe he was originally attracted to her a small amount at the beginning... but as time went on, I think the feeling of being with me was the only thing appropriate in his heart and body that they probably weren't that intimate towards the middle and end of the relationship. After that the pictures I would find and look through of his felt really odd and strange. Like it really was going on in a different time period and he started looking more and more familiar from a personal perspective -- like I really did know him. Not just know him. But it got to a point where I was truly staring at the image of my husband. But how is that I asked myself... we've never technically met. Are memories of us together in this happy life we shared eventually going to come back like the movie "Frequency" or am I just going to have to imagine how perfect it was?

He took dozens of photographs for me as clues into the whole murder theory, and these pictures also look like something out of a movie like Momento that is hard to explain. It's like I really slipped through a crack in the earth's crust and he is coaxing me back to him somehow. While doing his best to survive and writing romantic lyrics to me.

interviewer: What do you think the reasoning behind this is?
Rose: We think that it was a psychlogical mistake amongst the gods when placing us where we needed to be mentally and emotionally and they messed up with the physical placement. In our minds, we are each others spouses and the yearning for the other is unreal in that context. So basically, I was meant to be back there with him in the early 90's at this age, versus him being with me now at the age of 46. He knew it. And knew I was his wife. And now I know it. And know he's my husband. It was a Fruedian slip, an identity misplacement. Can you imagine living your whole life that way? Away from your husband or wife for eternity when they are not even dead. It's been so hard. And he needed me more than I needed him. He stated I was only hungry for it, but he was starving for it. I am a more independent person, but Kurt is like a little baby who needs to be held. I also think the gods actually thought Courtney's placement with him was right, but she has a very dark soul. Just look at her. Kurt's soul is light just like mine. I'm what he wanted and needed. Not his murderer.

interviewer: Do you ever have resentment towards his life in the limelight versus yours struggling without him?
Rose: All the time. But I believe his soul is here with me after he died. So he's shrugging along too next to me, living the hard life. If I can ever get a lawyer to take our case I can get that money from Geffen. He's hard to reach and retired or I would have gotten it already. Want to hear my joke on how Dave Geffen got his start in music? So Dave Geffen's got a band of three musicians on either side of his desk. In the blink of an eye, he hands 'em a contract, flicks them all a quarter, shoots the lead, and takes a check for 200 million dollars. And that's the story of Nirvana. Ha ha.

interviewer: Funny. What do you do to get by on your spare time?
Rose: I have no spare time from him. He's everything. Like I said I smoke a lot of meth to get by with sadness and depression but I feel like I'm not gonna last much longer. When they hand me a check for 200 million dollars I'm just gonna rent a hotel room and sit there... staring at the wall and talking to him. Wishing his body was with me and not just his spirit. I've been rehearsing for a music show that I plan on putting on at the Whiskey a-go-go that will be in his honor and to bring awareness to the murder campaign... but other than that... my heart is in a billion pieces. We're screwed. He's dead. I'm screwed. And people are still getting away with murder.

interviewer: Do you think you will ever move on from him?
Rose: Never. He's embedded into my soul for eternity. It tugs at me like crazy whenever I even consider the remote possibility of being with someone else. But no one compares. It's no contest. He was everything I always wanted. Perfect for me. My own little blonde rock star. His little greasy head drives me crazy. I adore him. Until we're together in the next life, we both have to suffer. Until then, I'm just going to try and get our story out there to others because I am sick of everyone thinking Courtney was the woman he really loved. It's rediculous. I'm ready to be known for that. I'm considering contacting Barbara Walters. God willing. Anyway, That's it. I'm done.

interviewer: Thank you for your time and sorry for your loss.
Rose: Thank you.