Drinkin' in New York City.

Dear Kurt,

I'm fairly drunk, and feeling beyond alone. Maybe if I smoke an entire pack of Camels while listening to my favorite songs I will fill the void of loneliness.

Or take away the fact that I am almost 32 and still have yet to be in love or even in an actual real relationship.

To compensate, I sing many angry songs to get the aggression out. It helps to a certain extent... The adrenaline that kicks in while screaming into the mic is a great aphrodisiac, but the truth remains... Loneliness is all consuming.

I wrote a letter to your old lawyer in question, who had the evidence and knew something was askew when you left us... I will post that email after this entry.

Meanwhile, I will be singing more pain-induced melodies.

Peace.... Love... Empathy,

Justice Seeker.

Dear Ms. Carroll,

This email is regarding your involvement in the life and death of the late Kurt Cobain. Before you delete this, I’d like for you to listen. I’ve scoured the world for all the information I could gather regarding his case.

From the investigation to the aftermath to his emotional status before his death to your position surrounding it. With all the facts combined, one doesn’t really need to go any further than reading the note left at the scene, not only its context but the handwriting.

And you, yourself stated at first glance that you knew it was forged. And you knew the exact details behind Kurt’s relationship with his wife, the mention of the change of the Will and all the other sticky problems in a relationship that was about to end.

I don’t know what went on behind closed doors between you, your husband, Ms. Love or anyone else who made it out alive in connection to Kurt’s death…. But I do know there were three other very questionable deaths following his as well as countless copycat suicides.

I am not going to go into detail regarding the loss of all the others, but I will say this. Kurt Cobain was taken from us in vain, by the hands of another individual. The fact that there is a select group of individuals who actually have the power to prove this, is not the issue. Whether they have the heart and soul and compassion is.

It saddens me to no end that such a remarkably sweet individual with one of the deepest souls and self-proclaimed empathy for humans managed to walk this earth for twenty-seven years and didn’t manage to affect a single person in his personal life enough to where they would stand up and fight for his name.

I can imagine the fear of winding up dead. That’s an obvious consequence in this scenario. But I don’t care if the chief of police planned it (likely but not probable), the mayor (not too likely), David Geffen (highly suspect), or the Mafia. There is always someone higher, and there is always protection from these people.

If a person who is directly involved in a orchestrated death like this, with DIRECT information that PROVES foul play took place, or at least has access to several documents that prove a motive then it is their DUTY as a human-being with a conscience to turn over all evidence and all suspicions to the higher-ups.

No ones job, status, social life, personal relationships are ever more important than justice. And you knew the victim. He was a person. Kurt was a living, breathing person with a heart, soul, dreams and fears. He had a life and a baby daughter that he spoke of giving his everlasting unconditional love to. He was a unique soul, that will never be again.

And he deserves defending. If there truly are people out there who know for a fact that he was murdered who can prove this, then Kurt and his daughter deserve the clearing of his name. His daughter deserves to know that he had every intention of being there for her.And he deserves the acknowledgment, to the rest of the world, that he did not leave his daughter behind selfishly.

His whole life was wiped away, and there is not a single thing in the world that will ever be worth that, a life.I never had the pleasure of being close to a person like Kurt, but if I had been in this situation, NOTHING would have kept me quiet. NOTHING. My heart bleeds for him, and to all the people who knew him who did nothing. They’re all cowards and as guilty as the person who pulled the trigger.

But know this, you may be educated in law, and working as a lawyer… and your husband may have been knowledgeable about music at one point in his career… but I think in this situation, you’re both proven failures in your chosen field.

And tell me, does the following quote appear to be written by an individual who, just a year later, would put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger?

"The thought of losing my baby haunts me every day. I'm even a bit unnerved to take her in the car in fear of getting into an accident. I swear that if I ever find myself in a similar situation than you've been in, i.e. a divorce, then I will fight to my death to keep the right to provide for my child.

I'll go out of my way to remind her that I love her more than I love myself. Not because it's a father's duty, but because I want to out of love. And if Courtney and I end up hating each other's guts we will be adult and responsible enough to be pleasant to one another when our child is around." -- Kurt Cobain

Such a shame.