James Gandofini died honey! He was so good in True Romance! That would of been us.... Courtney wanted to be Sid and Nancy with your sweet ass and she played sid really well with your murder... but we would have been Clarence and Alabama Woorly. Perfect. I love you. I left a kick ass message to Jimmy Levine at interscope so we should have the check very soon.... left my number, they better respond if they know what's best!

Quit reading this blog if you don't believe it. I don't need help. It's all true assholes. Talk to God. He's the only one I respond to....

Kurt and River both got murdered for their looks. People can't handle that form of sexuality and I still wouldn't have doubts if Anthony Kiedes is behind it all. Stop reading and stop being assholes. I don't need help it's true.... it's something I've known my whole life. Fuck you.

Hey honey... I need you. I need to get off the street. I'm still trying the lawyers, what is their problem... 200 million??? I don't know. Maybe time magazine will respond with an amount. Cross your fingers. I love you.

Dear Kurt,

bewwwwww..... honey, I miss you. I think I lost my whole rap song and it was kick ass. I would have loved to post the whole thing on here. boo-hoo. Trying to get to Wed. so I can get my check and finally have another laptop. This shit at the library is a pain. I emailed the Whiskey booking dept. about my show so cross your fingers... would love to get money out of that. Oh, I'm sure you already know but I didn't even make it on to the front door property of Geffen records because of security. I'll figure something else out. I love you... goodnight.

:-x

my charity show for the Whiskey song line-up..

So here's the show I'm putting together for the Whiskey with me on vocals that will be a charity event for Suicide Prevention Outreach... it's got kind of a theme going on... it will be a dedication to Kurt --

 1st set

1. Come Sail Away - Styx
2. Anyway you want it - Journey
3. I would do anything for love - Meatloaf
4. Making love out of nothin' at all - Air Supply
5. Glory Nights - Scorpions

2nd set

6. Bring on your dancin' horses - Echo and the Bunnymen
7. Heroes - David Bowie
8. Under Pressure - Queen/David Bowie
9. All these things that I've done - Killers
10. Brick in the wall - Pink Floyd
11. Bullet the blue sky - U2
      With or Without you - U2

A bit on Jesus bumper stickers

3rd set

12. Somethin' to believe in - Poison
13. I can only imagine - Mercy Me
14. I will wait for you - Mumford and Sons
14a. Flight of the apollo adaptation - AVA
15. Alive - P.O.D.

Axl Rose bit

4th set

15. Civil War - Guns - N - Roses
16. Blaze of Glory - Bon Jovi
17. Somethin's happening here - Buffalo Springfield
18. Freebird - Lynard Skynard (by request!)
19.

90's interlude/90's song compilation

5th set

19. Thirty-three - Smashing Pumpkins
20. Hit 'em up - Tupac
21. Radio Friendly Unit Shifter - Nirvana
21a. Hurt - Johnny Cash
21b. Round here - Counting Crows
22. Shattered - O.A.R.

6th Set

23. Stairway to Heaven - Led Zepplin
24. Highway to hell/Hells Bells - AC/DC
25. Jim Morrison Speech/mojo risin'/ Break on through to the other side - The Doors
26. Fly to the angels - Slaughter
27. I'll never let you go (angel eyes)- Steelheart

Finale

27. Faithfully - Journey
28. The Rose - Bet Midler
29. Where did you sleep last night - Nirvana cover version
30. Platinum/Baby Baby Baby - Justin Bieber

John Lennon bit

31. Home Sweet Home - Motley Crue
32. Wherever you will go - The Calling
33. The impression that I get - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

FINAL SONG

34. Violet - Hole
35. Love Buzz - Nirvana

Dedication to Kurt

lost without you - Blink 182

To all the Nirvana fans reading this site::

If you find my email somewhere on here or online or find a way to get a rude comment to me regarding anything on this blog I will not tolerate it. Please don't contact me with rude remarks. I've been through enough losing Kurt twice... First when I found out I was in love with him and he was already gone... then when I found out he was in love with me and he was taken from me by way of murder. My life ended when I was sixteen because of his death... I don't need anymore bullshit.

A speach I wrote for Kurt when he had that dispute with AXL --

I don't know how many of you know of that whole scenario between Axl Rose and Kurt during a few different occurences, it was about the time Nevermind was huge and gaining momentum... Axl said something in an interview bashing the heroin usage of Courtney during her pregnancy and Kurt dissed Axl's security squad saying it was rediculous. Well this is a little something we put together based on Axl's Civil War song and his love for sporting the rebel flag. I thought Kurt looked like a dork who just wanted to hit up and give some shit to a big rock star like Axl when he first made it so I wrote this in order to up his game and give him more credit.

Kurt dialogue as if he was here with me in the future THEN went back to that point in time for the arguement, Check out the references for future things that took place long after 91 or 92 when the arguement took place, picture big award show setting:



Title: What a fucking asshole

KURT:

"Hey Axl, doesn't it bother you wearin' that confederate flag bandanna being from Indiana and all? You're not a yankee there let alone a rebel. Talkin' to a mid-westerner about the North and South and the Civil War is like talkin' to a Californian about how the west was won.... and I'm not talkin' about the Mexicans and Indians either -- I'm talkin' Tupac and Biggie.

I thought you were from Oklahoma or something the way you went off in that song -- the last state in the union... "my hands are tied...."

(Kurt chuckles)
Yeah, I bet...

a mid-westerner who thinks he's a Yankee and claims to be a Southerner.

My wife was born in the North grew up in the South and the niggers still picked on her for being a yankee -- figure that one out if you wanna talk semantics about what the civil war did for our nation.

She had two grandfathers fight in both the army and navy during world war II and sure KNOWS our pledge of allegiance.

What can you say for your four fathers??

What a crock of shit. You should be sportin' the white freedom flag of liberty than the redneck staple. By the way before you start callin' me white trash and goin' on about Courtney shootin' up heroin while pregnant with our bastard baby... I'll worry about what my real wife is doin' as she googles on her WiFi images of Frances in love with me. That's my business.

"What we've got here is failure to communicate"....

(Kurt chuckless and shakes his head again)
I'll say....

It's assholes like you that make me proud to be an American just so I can talk shit. And by the way... ask me about President Obama some time. See what your redneck ass thinks about that.

But great song, that Civil War.

(he begins to whistle the beginning riff while holding up a copy of a cassette tape)
Kurt dialogue:
"Don't worry, when you decide not to write the song now.... I'll still have my copy.

(Axl scoffs, snickering)
You know they make CD'S now.

Kurt chuckles.
Yeah, I know. Mine just went platinum.

AXL
What?!

Kurt rolls his eyes while walking away....

KURT
nevermind....

(get it?? nevermind?? LOL)

Kurt (turning back, cont'd)
John Lennon wrote a song similiar to yours where he didn't know what the hell he was talkin' about and it got him shot. Remember that next time you try to be something you're not.

Kurt turns to leave, mumbling to his entourage --

Jesus christ.

Light a match on that guy... Axl Rose.... what a fucking asshole...."